I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
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