even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
