So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Randomize
