She's JV to your varsity
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
