a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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