You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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