one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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