his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Randomize
