It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
These tits shall not be calmed
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
