dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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