I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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