He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
