Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
