there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize
