no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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