I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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