sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
