We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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