The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Randomize
