Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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