glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Randomize
