I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
