haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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