I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Randomize
