In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Randomize
