i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
