so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
