Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
