I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
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