dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
