I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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