Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
