Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
