I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
