Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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