Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
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