so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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