He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
