Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
