That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
