we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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