And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
