New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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