Banned from zoo.
Again?
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
