I like my sex mixed with concussions.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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