I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Randomize
