Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
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