You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
you traded sex for a burrito?
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
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