I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Randomize
