my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
